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Below are the 13 most recent journal entries recorded in xaq's LiveJournal:

Saturday, August 21st, 2004
1:48 am
scanner working
check out glowsintime.blogspot.com i've been posting photography lately. the lovely mel can be seen there as well. if only i can find a way to sell it! although, i suspect it's nowhere near worth anything yet. we'll see i suppose. i will buy a macro lense within a month, along with silver polish. now to get the scanner working.
Monday, August 9th, 2004
10:33 pm
i started a blog site. it will be the shit once i figure out how to post from my own comp. i posted from work just fine, however this comp. dosen't let me access the text area of the post screen. suck.
Sunday, August 1st, 2004
12:10 am
one drink
since i was sixteen i have believed that the full moon effects peaple deeply. most of the peaple i know don't think this is true. i just see wierdness happening all the time during a full moon. tonight i went cheers to meet up with loc. as i was entering i noticed my ex-girfriends car. no biggie, we're cool. i get inside and take care of loc. i walk to the bar to order a single drink for apperances, pretending not to notice her there. as i get to the bar, the girfriend of bryan, the guy my ex was sleeping with, says hi and wants to talk about my shirt, and what i'm doing. then brayn comes over to say hi. then wendy comes over to say hi. then i notice molly is tending bar along with the owners daughter erin. well what a crowd. i get a beer, and am trying to finish it fast so i can leave. the situation is a little ridiculas to me. erin decides that even though she has a boyfriend she wants to flirt with me.i just want to leave, though i don't wish to be rude. wendy does leave. cool, and sad. bryan wants to play pool again. no. it's not gonna happin my friend. i comment on his ring, which was on wendy's finger a year ago. he gets it. we're both polite, however i don't want to be his friend right now. maybe never.
molly says hey and i'm polite. she leaves.
ultimatly i've no one but myself to thank for this situation other than myself.
zack, here's to you for creating silly situations with peaple! i may have stayed for a while, but tomarrow i am spending time with mel at her mom's house so i don't want to be too hung over.
i'll drink at the house for a while and then go to sleep.... hopefully.

p.s. i am so lame for being the one with a problem.
Wednesday, June 2nd, 2004
4:17 pm
tristan manco
street logos is the most inspiring book i've seen in a long time. long live urban art. now all i need is the proper adhesive....
Wednesday, May 26th, 2004
7:53 pm
now that ceaseless exposure has calloused us to the lewd and the vulgar, it is instructive to see what still seems wicked to us. what still slaps the clammy flab of our submissive conciousness hard enough to get our attention?
Friday, May 21st, 2004
10:09 am
dead football
my football got punctured/deflated yesterday. i'm a little sad about it. whatever.
i do not wash my roomates' dishes, so they tease me that i'm lazy. not often.
there is a crack in my cieling from the air conditioning crew that took forever to fix the air. i don't really care about it.
i think we shouldn't use the air, as it will raise the already high electric bill higher. summer.
i haven,t had a ciggarette for almost a week.
i spent alot of money with meltar the other day, bought a ton of cool books, chop sticks, and a skillet with a dope lid.
my friends sometimes call me too often.
my bird feeder needs to be refilled often, what greedy birds. and fat as well.
many cats try to pounce on the fat birds, they never succeed.
i might get another check from game crazy today. swell.
i may write more later.
Wednesday, May 12th, 2004
10:13 am
you can talk when you cease to be at peace with your thoughts;
and when you can no longer dwell in the solitude of your heart
you live in your lips,
and sound is a diversion and a pastime.
and in much of your talking, thinking is half murdered.
for thought is a bird of space,
that in a cage of words may indeed unfold it's wings
but cannot fly.

kahlil gibran
Saturday, May 8th, 2004
5:11 pm
i am not a subject
cochella is hitler incarnate! ok so i supose i was a subject at cochella.
later scrow!!
Monday, March 15th, 2004
11:03 pm
fired cont.
they probably complain about how everyone they spoke to that day treated them like a bastard.
yeah so i lost my train of thought. it's been several hours, and several more drinks since. now i have nothing to say.
7:41 pm
i was responsable for convincing one of my employees to put in his two week notice before i myself quit. i did. it was either that or he would lose his job anyway. i just gave him the choice to make. oh well it will be good for him, as he will have plenty of time to pursue the job i set up for him previously. he needs to expand his horizons as it is. i hope that dosn't sound like i'm trying to convince myself because....whatever.
i got a dope ass fish tank from matt today. i look forward to filling it with some dope ass creatures. i feel like he should have kept it and baought a new pet or something, however, i can totally understand not wanting any pets at all. ahem... like ferrets...or whatever.
i'm very happy when i get up in the morning. my roomate always says "why the hell are you so happy" my answer is always "why are you not" i just can't help but feel like i've done a pretty fine job with my life to this point. i feel that way because of the way that poeple respond to me on a daily basis. both those i know and those i don't. if i was a dick, i'd get terrible reactions from everyone. i rarely ever do and to me that says alot about my character and disposition. think about the person in your life that complains the most. what do they complain about? got to go
Friday, March 12th, 2004
11:10 am
more than a week
i just gave two weeks notice to my district manager. he said he didn,t want to lose me but if i wasn't happy then i should definatly stop working. i'll be glad to be out of there soon, all the fun i used to have there has long since gone. i plan to continue shooting video and barbacking for extra cash, and i'll probably get a part time job somewhere. i'm thinking about a fish store, however, i'm doubtfull they would hire me. perhaps we'll see.
speaking of fish, my shark died last night somewhere around 8pm. i'd had it for several years now, and understood that maybe it just got tired of my tank. if i was a shark i would totally go to the giant puddle in the sky! screw 55 gallons! i'm goin' to shark heaven buddy!
the'll feed me better up there, as well as not force me to live with little rat basterd tetras that annoy me to death you punk!
so , i understand it's willingness to die. melissa called him sharko...
maybe getting an eel isn't such a bad idea after all.
Wednesday, March 10th, 2004
2:01 pm
at least i wrote to her. if only i didn't drink so much, i might actually remember do do things when i'm supposed to. i do remember, however, that i'll never lose sight of the poeple i care about. i may e-mail them a little late though....
there was a time in my life when i felt i had no one. it sucked to be sure! although it did give me the opportunity to begin surrounding myself with poeple of honesty, integrity, and goodwill. and at this point i know that i'll never be without someone who'll be there if i need them, and every one of my signifigant others knows that as well.
it's a terrible thing when you have to live with yourself after you've treated someone like this unfairly. last night i was so unfair to a very important person in my life. she said she understood and that it didn't matter. it does though. because her time was wasted telling me what i already know in the first place! she also said i have great eyes. they won't be so pretty when i gouge them out as penance for my ability to be the most ridiculas human on the planet! anyway.
all i can do is live with it and try to be a little less idiotic next time. same ol'...
i hope that i never stop seeing my mistakes. poeple have told me that i'm overly analitical, maybe i am, but seriously, how else do you grow and/or change? don't you have to see the things about yourself that need fixing in order to change it? yes. i'll be as analitical as i want if i think it's helping me to become a decent individual.
mabye the stars won't be so bight next time.....
1:22 pm
if only i could do something correctly for once, i'd be a much happeir human being.
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